motion city soundtrack: the conversation

i recieved mail from my flickr friend s.toth.

she lives in brazil, and she didnt know what the abreviation AK meant,

so her letter to me started "i wonder what its like to live in Arkansas."

and i was like, whaaat?

...

it started snowing again, after everything almost melted completely. its a glorious dissapointment. the sky is the thickest shade of grey. the buildings and people have sharper edges and stand out almost as if they were cut and pasted afterthoughtedly. floating semi-aimlessly. every evening passing finds my body limplifeless.

"there is a movement in our stillness and however much

we move we're bound to stand completely still."

-aaron weiss

this is s. toth singing with conor. jeaaloussyyy.

j. tillman: when i light your darkened door

joel: she had me over for a movie, and it started getting awkward and then i realized she wanted the dick.

me: she wanted THE dick?

joel: yes. the dick.

me: oh. wow. umm. gross.

joel: exactly.

brand new: stole

im in love with this girls face.

...

theres a quaking in the distance.

shivering closer and closer.

echoes of bones in rows of teeth

gather around to join the sounds.

im the dancing grayflame.

naked against coldlight.

the moons moon, reflecting the shine

pretending the darkwarmth is mine.

...

im in love with this mans mind.

basement apartment: kicking the can

my mom used to lock my brother and i out of the house after we finished our schoolwork (we were homeschooled) so she could watch 'the young and the restless' in silence and solitude. one particularly hot day Brennan picked up a baseball bat and a Mcdonalds happy meal toy, walked down to the bottom of the driveway, threw the figure up in the air, and struck it with the bat, scattering simba into the middle of the culdisac. i grabbed my bat and followed suit. when one of us had sufficiently obliterated a plastic toy, we went scavenging for another. anything that we would never miss, and maybe some stuff we would, burst across our metal bats like tiny glass balls of confetti. eventually our hands grew blisters and our bare shoulders felt like our veins were pumping molasses. we set our bats down, skipping over shards of batman and barbie to the hose. we made mud puddles in the grass to cool our blazing feet and drank until our stomachs made sloshing noises then tried to punch each other to make one of us vomit. i laid down in the grass and stared into the heavens, and i remember wondering how a tree could be male or female like i had heard my mom talking about to our neighbors. i wanted to break more stuff. i wanted to light the trees on fire with a magnifying glass, male and female or whatever they were. i wanted to drive a motorcycle muchtoofast off of a building in a leather jacket. i wanted to be jonathan taylor thomas with a girlfriend i could call "babe". i wanted to live forever, spitting blood, clenching scabbed knuckles. i wanted to tell someone to shut up and not get in trouble. i wanted to be anything but twelve. whatever.

hellogoodbye: dear jamie...sincerely me

this hellogoodbye song was the shit.

like. forever ago.

i remember every single emo girl had this on

their myspace and/or xanga.

christixcore.

xstephanixmissmurder

dianadeathwish

alexxxxxxhardxcore.

or whatever.

slashed bangs super skinny screamo purple hairdye

hottopic bandt makeoutbracelets straightedge writing

your favourite song lyrics all over everything stupidstupidlove.

am i getting less and less cool every day of my life?

ferraby lionheart: the ballad of gus and sam

...

everytime i watch fight club

i want to break something.

punch and feel a shattering.

or maybe just do nothing;

push all the furniture to the walls of the living room

so everything is in orbit around me

suspended and suspending.

the core of the house.

me. lying in the center.

my veins pulsing gravity.

...

i think if i watched Donnie Darko, Stay, and Fight Club in one night,

something magical would happen.

radiohead: all i need

..

i have these raging impossibilities spinning around my skull.

weaving. teasing. pleasing. diseasing.

..

new favourite word: rubenesque
..

4:10 of this video is the reason i love this band so dearly, so. oh so, so.

so, so, so muchly.