the sickness is over. over and completed. i still have throat business going on.
so, singing is almost impossible. which makes me weep in so many ways.
none of them very masculine.
school is progressing well. i think i will pass all my classes.
all of them. for the first time since my very first semester.
though, i only had one class. but still.
i havent been writing lately, just listening to music. and pretending to do homework.
and sowing up old tshirts. and just daydreaming. day.dream.ing.
way too much. about stepping into the pockets made in the air by breaths
and stepping through to a whole other parallel world.
where everything is just as a want it, but a little as i don't.
because nothing could be worse than a perfect world.
nothing. there is no hope. no dreams.
mild discontent keeps me sane.
the ways my life falls short of my expectations
allows my head to spin life into spools of wonder.
i take them out while lying in my room or anywhere comfortable
or sometimes not so comfortable
and unravel/unspool/disperse
until i forget where i am lying and why
and who i am really and why and where
that i has gotten me.
and there is just that beautiful, unattainable contentedness.
tucking my eyes and mouth and ears into wonder.
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